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College Football
- Thread starter kathydwells
- Start date
ShallowsNole
Beach Fanatic
Hey, I've found that menopause and football actually go hand in hand very nicely.
Nothing's worse than your team losing while you have PMS. Now, it like "oh, well..."
As an added bonus, I no longer have to pull out my season tix and a calendar
and figure out which ones I'll *have* to miss (sorry if tmi - but the gals know what I mean!).
Nothing's worse than your team losing while you have PMS. Now, it like "oh, well..."
As an added bonus, I no longer have to pull out my season tix and a calendar
and figure out which ones I'll *have* to miss (sorry if tmi - but the gals know what I mean!).
kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
drsvelte said:Just in case you didn't know: LSWho WHO won!
Yes, they did. Please accept my congratulations to you!!!!
kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
ShallowsNole said:My condolences to Kathydwells...I was hoping Bama would win. I even said Roll Tide a couple of times.
Thank you SN, it was a tough loss. I just hope we can beat Auburn Saturday, but it ain't looking good for the home team!!!!
kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
Kimmifunn said:
I am so glad you had a good weekend!!! You're right glad the games were close. It makes for a much more exciting game.
Can't get used to the L's. I never will!!!!
Beach Runner
beats on hood
Sorry, kathydwells. I was actually pulling for UA on Saturday. We watched football from 12:30 PM to 12:30 AM (EST). Well, not really "we" - my husband went to sleep before the UGA/AU game was over - he's an "early to bed, early to rise type."
My daughter sent this to me today. I haven't seen it before. Sorry in advance for the long post. I'm too lazy to make it an attachment right now.
College Football: the North vs. the South...
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water proof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
SOUTH: Paul "Bear" Bryant
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want t see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30 foot custom pig shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the Home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle Him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.
My daughter sent this to me today. I haven't seen it before. Sorry in advance for the long post. I'm too lazy to make it an attachment right now.
College Football: the North vs. the South...
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water proof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
SOUTH: Paul "Bear" Bryant
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want t see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30 foot custom pig shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the Home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle Him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.
whiteyfunn
SoWal Staff
BR- Love it cause it's true.
I can only image if I were on t.v. I would have no family speaking to me anymore. I forgot how wonderful college football was. Our tailgate was right behing the two ESPN stages. It was awesome. I could see Kfunn's bf (Kirk, who I also saw out on Friday night) from my chair. It was a blast. I wish I could go to the Auburn game.
BTW...I'm getting my voice back a tiny bit.
I can only image if I were on t.v. I would have no family speaking to me anymore. I forgot how wonderful college football was. Our tailgate was right behing the two ESPN stages. It was awesome. I could see Kfunn's bf (Kirk, who I also saw out on Friday night) from my chair. It was a blast. I wish I could go to the Auburn game.
BTW...I'm getting my voice back a tiny bit.
Miss Kitty
Meow
whiteyfunn said:
I'm just glad you can still type!!! Where is your new 'tar? Molly and I have been waiting all day to see it!!
I love hearing how much funn you had! See...you CAN go back!
Miss Kitty
Meow
BR...I loved that! Y'all have taught me so much about college football (remember, I went to SMU and generally stayed on the bus with HMM and his frat bro's) and I even feel your pain sometimes!